I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just high enough for therapy.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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