No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I wish there were birth control emojis
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Randomize
