i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
