I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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