Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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