his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
