Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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