Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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