Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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