don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
