you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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