I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
