Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
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