Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
