KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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