Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize