I wannas sexs uuuuu
I met the friendliest cop last night
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
