Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize