u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm like, not good at living.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I have post one night stand depression
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
