i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
