Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.