3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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