Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
