Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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