I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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