You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize