and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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