It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
