You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Randomize
