She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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