had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
