I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
