she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize