if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Randomize
