I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You are the jesus of drinking
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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