Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
