good thing vaginas are great cup holders
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
