Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
