i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
