He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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