Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You should frame my arrest warrant.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
