Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
