I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Thank you for not boning my boss.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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