I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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