Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
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I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
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From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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