your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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