I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
time to smoke my breakfast
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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