I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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