her vagine was all disorganized.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
