He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
