omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I need moral support for this bender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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