Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
