my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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