I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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