She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I understand Curling. That high.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
