I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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