the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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