I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
