I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize