went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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